


When the Wizarding World and Catfish Collide

by lookingforpaperstars



Category: Catfish: The TV Show, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU HP/Catfish, Alternate Universe, Catfish - Freeform, Catfish: The TV Show - Freeform, Eventual Romance, F/M, Online Dating, Online Romance, Post-Second War with Voldemort, Romance, This Is Such a Bizarre Idea, bear with me, cuteness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 10:18:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18963268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lookingforpaperstars/pseuds/lookingforpaperstars
Summary: After the war, Hermione feels isolated. Her friends have all moved on and begun to have families of their own. She enters back into the muggle world searching for some normality and with a hope to pursue her dreams of having her own family life. Whilst transitioning back to reality, she turns to the internet for company, and finds a companion on a dating site. She never intended to actually find someone on there, but she realised quickly that was what she truly wanted. But there are things that just don’t add up, and Hermione needs some help and so she enlists Nev and Max to assist. Can the outcome entail romance? And will it be how Hermione imagined?This is a massive AU. The war ends and Hermione is thrust back into the modern world with smartphones, internet romance and Catfish. This is a really modern AU, but I feel like Hermione is a really good character to seamlessly move into the modern age.This is also a somewhat bizarre fic, but I'm having a lot of fun writing it - and I hope you wonderful lot have fun reading it!





	When the Wizarding World and Catfish Collide

Hermione was awakened by the light streaming in through the slightly parted curtains. She opened her eyes begrudgingly and looked over to the bedside clock. 07:45. With a sigh, she sat up, reaching for her phone and upping the brightness a little so that she could see it properly in the morning light.

_ Ezra  _ __  
__ 2 iMessages  
  


She swiped to open the notifications, her heart hammering heavily, the anticipation building rapidly inside of her. She had only been talking to Ezra for a couple of months, but he had already become a huge part of her life and a staple in her morning routine.

**Ezra:  
** Goodnight, Mione x   
**Ezra:**   
I hope you’re sleeping well. I just wanted you to know   
that I’m glad I met you. Sweet dreams x   


A smile immediately tugged at the corners of her mouth, her cheeks flushing a gentle pink.

 

**Hermione:  
** Good morning, Ezra. I slept well, did you?   
I’m glad I met you and I can’t wait to talk    
to you today. Xx

 

The reply came almost immediately, as if he had been waiting for her reply. She smiled broader at the realisation that he probably  _ had _ been waiting for her reply. It felt too rapid to be a coincidence.   
  


**Ezra:** ****  
Good morning, Mione! :) I’m glad you slept well.   
I had a good sleep too! Up early today to go   
out with my camera and take some shots.   
What are you up to today? X

 

Hermione loved that she had found someone who had a hobby like this. It was refreshing to hear someone feeling passion about something they enjoy; and it made her heart swell to imagine this handsome man going out and taking awe worthy pictures.

 

**Hermione:**   
Will you show me the photos you take? I’d love    
to see them! I hope you have a good time.    
I’m just going to be reading today. I need    
to catch up on books that I am behind on! Xx

 

She was yet to tell Ezra that she was a witch - it wasn’t something that she tended to announce to people she met in real life and she definitely didn’t want to reveal that secret to someone she had just met on the internet. He probably wouldn’t believe her anyway and she really didn’t want to do anything to jeopardise the relationship. Besides, it didn’t feel particularly pertinent to inform him of a detail that honestly seemed unimportant to their relationship. 

She intended to spend the day catching up on everything she had missed whilst in the throes of the wizarding war. She had been secluded from society during that time and she had missed out on everything that she had previously enjoyed before the war began. She had already caught up on muggle news and wizarding news (both were relatively quiet, thankfully). She had caught up briefly with her old muggle friends, and she had settled back into her small town with her parents who had thankfully had their memories restored efficiently at St. Mungos. The only thing that was left for her to do was to catch up on the copious amount of books that she had missed out on during her time in exile. 

 

**Ezra:**   
Sure, I’ll send you some when I return! I   
hope you have a good day reading… I was   
actually wondering if you would like to have   
a phone call later? Xxx

 

**Hermione:  
** Yes! I would love to! Yes, please! Let me   
know when you’re back and we can   
chat! Xxx

 

Hermione glowed with happiness as she put her phone down on the bedside table before standing and getting ready for the day ahead. After she had washed and changed clothes, she went downstairs to get breakfast. She had a plate of homemade pancakes whilst sat in front of the TV, an element of muggle routine that she had missed whilst away. She flicked through the channels and landed on MTV, on a show called ‘Catfish’. With curiosity, she turned the volume up and watched, transfixed, as she ate. 

She chuckled at the travel montages between Nev and Max, sighed with longing when the hopefuls met, her face contorting into scowls as the hopeful found out that the person they loved was in fact, not at all who they claimed to be. As the tension in the episode built, her heart rate climbed. She devoured her pancakes and the episode simultaneously, her eyes never once leaving the screen.

Upon finishing the episode, she stood up and dashed upstairs, determination flickering in her eyes. She hadn’t quite felt like this since she was extensively researching runes and in a way it felt similar to that feeling - she intended to learn a  _ lot _ and wasn’t going to stop until her curiosity was satisfied. She never left any stone unturned when she researched and she had no intention to do so now. 

After an hour of extensive research, she felt that she was fully briefed in the world of internet dating and “Catfishing”. She had searched for the dictionary definition of Catfish, and also found a satisfactory definition on ‘Urban Dictionary’, which cleared up any confusion. She had also read a few forums about the show in more detail so that she could establish what the aim of the show was overall and whether it was a good show to potentially appear on. She had, of course, made sure to read both sides to every story - but every point against the show seemed to be a little trivial, and did not deter her. She kept on reading, curiosity ebbing and flowing with everything she read. 

She didn’t start her research with the intention of applying to the show, but after reading extensively she decided that it would be the best thing to do to help stop the situation she was in with Ezra before it could progress much more. She didn’t want to end up being enamored with this boy for years only to find out that he was never real, or worse to have him disappear on her. She did not know anyone else who would be able to help her the way Nev and Max appeared to help people, and even though she had only watched one episode and read a  _ lot _ of forums, she felt like she could trust them.

 

She opened her email client and clicked ‘compose an email’. Before she could second guess it, she started to type.

 

_ Dear Nev and Max,  _

_ My name is Hermione Granger, and I just started watching your show today and immediately realised that I need to seek your help. You see, I’m a hopeless romantic who has never actually had a proper romantic relationship. I have been infatuated from afar on numerous occasions, but Ezra is the first person I have allowed in. I met a man online called Ezra two months ago who has quickly become a huge part of my life. We met on a dating website that I chose to join on a whim, seeking company because all of my friends have moved on with their lives and I feel very much like I have been left behind. We have never video chatted and I am awaiting a phone call from him this evening - though I worry that it will never come. He is incredibly loquacious, compassionate, caring, amusing and intellectual; the kind of man I have always wanted to know. He messages me every single morning to wish me a good day, and we chat here and there throughout the day. I have quickly begun to grow affectionate towards him and would really like to get to know him on a more personal basis, but I am wary to do so whilst I am not completely sure who he is. I have seen a couple of pictures of him and he is handsome, but I do fear that he is not the man in the pictures. I didn’t personally question him, out of naivety perhaps, because I never thought it possible to lie about your identity until I saw your programme - and now I can’t help but second guess everything.  _

_ He lives in Massachusetts and I live in England, so you can imagine that it’s hard for us to even begin to think about meeting. I know that I am quite a way away from Catfish Headquarters but I was hoping you would be able to help me somehow. _ __  
__  
_ Kindest Regards, _ _  
_ __ Hermione

 

Hermione clicked ‘ **SEND’** before she could think twice.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this! I'm really in the fanficiton mood lately and I'm hoping to update this every few days. Let me know your thoughts.


End file.
